Best Summer Dad Jokes | Sizzling Summer Puns | Hot Weather Dad Jokes to Melt Your Heart
Best Summer Dad Jokes
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home it was toast.
It’s so hot global warming has been replaced by global melting.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I saw two fire hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot my Pop Tarts popped.
It’s so hot E. L. James titled her next book “Fifty Shades of Red”.
It’s so hot you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot even white collar workers are red necks.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelette.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot outside I saw a chicken poop scrambled eggs.
It’s so hot I saw a funeral procession pull through a Dairy Queen.
It’s so hot granny farted just to get a little breeze.
It’s so hot even the bee’s perm has become unmanageable and now she’s a frizzbee.
It’s so hot the Betty Ford clinic has opened a wet bar.
It’s so hot in the Apple store because they have no Windows.
It’s so hot outside that I poured McDonald’s hot coffee on my lap just to cool off.
- What did the air conditioning say to the man? I’m your biggest fan.
What do you call a witch who lives on the beach? A sandwitch!
Why did the teacher jump into the pool? She wanted to test the water!
How hot is a Los Angeles summer? So hot that I saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs!
What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle.
What is a shark’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaa-hamas.
What do mermaids sleep on? Water beds!
Why should you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong? Because they never do it on porpoise!
What holds the sun up in the sky? Sunbeams.
What did the pig put on his sunburn? Oinkment.
Where do sharks go on summer vacation? Finland!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
What do ghosts like to eat in the summer? I Scream.
Where does seaweed look for a job? In the kelp-wanted section.
What does the sun drink out of? Sunglasses.
What do you do if you get rejected for a job at the sunscreen company? Reapply.
If you ever want to talk about why our air conditioning bill is so high, my door is always open.
Why did the detectives show up at the concert at the beach? Something fishy was going on.
I’m trying to get my kids used to warmer summer temperatures so I can save on cooling costs. I guess you could say I’m an heir conditioner.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
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